A ROCK ON ITS OWN

Stingy eyes and tears that overflow
heart pounds on a beat so low
As mindwanders so does the world
Sharp threar that ruins my honesty
and a place there is none to hide my modesty

I can whisper sweet nothings to myself
but will argue it's an unprecedented theft
"let these whispers turn to breeze
and this breeze float in a gust of wind
A new home may stifle in its path"
its a hope that sways
and uncertainly that stays

A warning came sevn years ago
anxiety kickedin four years ago
Hope slithered wo years ago
and flew away the very next day
it hurt, it still hurts, can't hold it in
it slices through and stays in
There is no other way but to bleed
and my heart wants to bleed
it begs to bleed
screams that can't be heard
and sorrow that seemed like just another's

I keep telling there is nothing to confess
but only afraid there is too much of a mess
 There is a mask I revel in
and the world hasn't taught me will
should I stay in
or do I pay in another sin
People ask me "how are you?"
And my conscience struggles to breathe
Uncomfortable in its death bed
Thoughts incomplete and scattered
Emotions that have no face
How am I? I wonder
My whole existence should have been a question
how am I even existing?
Like an ant that lost its direction, sense  and a home
food to live by
No meaning to survive

I keep asking do I qualify?
To a life that would satisfy
I keep doubting or do I simplify
Just to be stable as there is nothing to signify
Only guilt comes along time.