WHEN BROWN PEOPLE DATE...

When Brown people DATE... !
Hey everyone I know I have been AWOL for centuries. Hope you din't forget me and if you did oopsei-daisee.Anyways me and my sarcastic self have been going through major transformations.(from liking One Direction to All Time Low, from British accent to American, from addressing as My love to Yo lady/man/people in general and speaking bullshit to ..... aaah  speaking bullshit again. well not much for transformation though)
Whateve ! I have transformed so much that I have become a frigging Transformer haha No jUST KIDDING. Although I would love to become one. hmmmmmmm....OPTIMA PRIME may be... aha hows dat??
Coming back to real world, there are a lot of things to share and discuss but today let me talk about something more normal in our country and more awkward to other countries.

Okay!! let me start from the beginning. Normally A boy or a girl finds someone interesting goes to them talks to them and if they still find them interesting asks them on a date.
But here (well its not that I am supporting the dating tradition or opposing our own ways of living life.Its just an interesting topic to speak and rather funny to compare. so NO offence my brothers and sisters. ayy) in India and mostly South India, this is what happens.

Firstly we have two different conditions.

a) If a boy likes a girl, he contatcs the girl's friends, bribe them with chocolates teddy bears and what not , then do a spy check on her bio data, follow her everywhere till he makes stacks of record papers about what's she wearing?, what's she eating?, where she  goes?,does she have AIDS and syphillus?, Is she dumb?, what kind of make-up she uses? what kind of dogs and cats she has? and more importantly whom does she meet? .(dude!! you are supposed to be-friend her not be all 'Agent 61' on her .... ) 

Then later after he finds out she is not diseased because she has no dogs and she has no boyfriend becoz if she has(accept it) you will start calling her a 'BITCH' or go 'Devdas'.
After such a long( 2 or 3 months)times hardwork you go to her and start blabbering about anything and everything. If you are lucky enough the girl will catch your drift and go along with you and if you are not- then SORRY BRO! your hardwork has gone to ashes, she will just give you a 'WTF??' look and you are doomed.

 Run away from there before she takes you to be a kidnapper or a girlnapper for dat.(see 'DAT' I am being all African Indian baby... :P)
Then this lucky guy starts texting her calling her , making her fall for him, using all his charms on her. He makes her comfortable ,happy, starts sweet talking to her and she abruptly falls. WHAT NEXT??

Yeah next comes the part when he asks her out- to drop the ultimate bomb.This the girl considers as a date, but the boy his 'Judgement day'.

b)If the girl likes a boy. This is what happens, The boy sits on his bench talking to his friends and here the girl looks at him and smiles to herself. The boy is playing cricket or football she sits in the first row of the audience and just looks at him and smiles to herslef.( thats it! there is a whole world around her.The boy wins the match she is still smiling and imagining what it would be like to be with him. The boy misses a goal the whole world will  be going ballistic on him but she is still smiling looking at him oblivious to the outer wolrd, enjoying hugging him in her day dreams)I know this sounds so creepy to read and imagine but this is what really happens. And you people can't realise what's happening because we girls are Born Actresses. We act whole day and that is absolutely true that we are hiding our feelings.
 

Then there comes a day the same girl watches the same boy having fun with his girlfriend , or marrying her best friend and she just sits there like a brooding chicken and she is so depressed that she can't even lay an egg..:P
If the girl is wise enough she would go to the boy and tell him she liked him and wondered if he could talk to her or go out to a movie or some place to eat with her. He would eventually accept. I mean, come oon!! who in their right mind would deny going out with a girl who likes him. This the girl considers as a date and the boy as  his most lucky day.
                        Now on the day of the date here are the things that are not supposed to happen but happens eitherways.

1. THE FINANCIAL CRISIS :

Atlast the day comes and both our sweet love doves are preparing themselves for the ultimate show down.Boy readies himself fixing his hairstyle with boxful of gel and trying to flirt with the mirror. I say 'trying' because he fails miserably at it. After a whole hour long of contemplation and checking his hoodie and rechecking his hairstyle he comes out of his reverie and collects his empty wallet from his cupboard/bag/jean pockets or whateve. aand KABOOOM !!!!! ..... '''>>>>>}}}_____

Here comes the Tsunami, all the confidence he built up just a minute ago in front of his mirrior is down flowing in the gutter.There is no way he can ask his father for money because his father would interrogate him till he told the truth and the truth would be too sweet for his diabetic father and his mother would be as helpless as his bestfriend during his exams.
so what now??
 

2. THE BEGGARS DEMAND:

His mobile would have never sensed him calling so many numbers in a single day. He would call all the friends of his- ranging from schoolmates,tution mates, brother's , elder sister's to present collage mates, facebook friends and helpless enemies.
After begging and sometimes or most of the times blackmailing he wins himself a wad of cash.
In case of the girl, she has to break her kiddy bank or take out the money that she has been saving for her new dress because daddy's girl can't say her dad that she is going out with a guy and mom would cry that her daughter has no value for money and compare herself when she was at her daughter's age. As much entertaining it would be to listen to her mother's history she has to go out -peacefully.(Girls please never leave house without extra money with you because even though your ego tastical boyfriend will pay the bills, you have to admire your own independency and have your own money on a safe side coz we never know when we feel like buying ourselves boxing gloves to hit the boy if he turns out to be a douche bag.And if you want to pay your share of bill or tip for that sake. And remember the boy who doesn't stop you from paying the bill admires your independency..  :)

3. TOO COMFORTABLE DRESSES:

There are clothes everywhere in the girls room and she yet cant find what to wear, she ultimately chooses her best dress and puts it on. Does all the unwanted makeup and cakes her face with four layers of foundation but after two hours of such drama she rememebers that she is supposed to go to college according to her parents so she takes it off and sticks to the daily wear or something casual. (now I am not against it because I would love to wear jeans anytime,anywhere and its always comfortable. and dont worry that the guy will take you to be a tom boy cuz believe me the guy has no Brains at all  if he does and you are beautiful in whatever you wear)
so instead dressing up to the almighty king as a queen, she goes in her normal attire which is certainly more than enough and comfortable because ... hmm you will know that in the next point.

4. THE MONKEY ON THE BACK:

Everyone knows both of them are bunking the classes but since the sweet parents of these silly kids think they are going to the college the kids have to play the part too.
 

Hence the monkey on the back. This is the metaphorical reference to the heavy bags we carry to the college. No way can we forget that. They have to carry it everywhere they go and this creates more awkwardness. The bags are just a burden and they can't leave them anywhere else so they have to carry those bags all date long. That is the more ridiculus part because those bags take 3/4th space of the couch or table .

5. THE KILLER GIRL-FRIEND:

When the boy is ready to pick the girl up and take her to his surprise place or the place they have planned to go he sets to go to her.
The girl too nervous to face him asks her "best girl friend" to accompany her and here comes the best part. If the girl friend is a girl like me she would throw a tantrum at the boy for asking her friend out alone and then she would try multiple ways to ask her friend out of that stupid plan-the best way is being sentimental. :P

Later if nothing worked she would allow the girl to go with the boy only to follow them later to spy on the guy.(dont take me wrong. This is not because she is jealous or narrow minded but because she feels protective over her friend and also maybe sometimes the fact that she doesnt believe the guy- is true too .... and this does happen its true because I did once spy on my friend's date, lol....  :D I went all 'salt' on them.)

I think that's normal for any friend of the girl to do so because we never know how big jerk the boy might be and later if that tends to be true she has to bear all the crying and willowing of the girl.. that's too scary, it literally feels like a haunted movie where she is being dragged into the well of dead bodies by the evil witch( I know its a bit exaggerated..... ofoooo  okay fine !! it is too much exaggerated)   :D but the point is- It simply breaks her heart.

6.THE NOSEY STUDS:

There is always a time when you go out with someone special and you seek places so that you don't grab unwanted attention and that turns out the wrong way. This is just that because without any motive of leaving you alone either friends of the boys or brother's and cousins of the girl and if they are unlucky enough friends of their fathers notice you with your bulk bags and cluelessly laughing self.

And that isn't the end they come and mess it all up without any effort from yourside.The only positive thing that will happen here is the boy doesn't have to drop the girl at her house or maybe even college. She and he will have a hell of a free ride  even after she returns to home.
If they were fortunate enough they would only be teased and picked upon by the guys friends.
And if nothing of this happened then consider that you have been out of death for a day.

7.THE OVERPROTECTIVE MOTHER:

She's always reminding us to return home anyway she can. Either give us missed calls or else just call us when we are right in the middle of the lectures. And that day will not be an exception becuase the mother's will be calling the girl to remind her that she is supposed to board a bus back to home not wasting time. That includes the brutal remindal of rapists and muderers lurking around in the city at nights. Great !! just great !! first  History and now Disaster management, they can as well home school their daughters.
so this call ends on a depressing note when the girl half lies to her mother that she is heading home soon and was late because she had to do extra work in the lab for extra credits. How rueful!! 

8. THE BORING COME OUT:

As if all the above aren't enough to wake them up they find the day boring after a few hours time when they have nothing to talk about and just sit there watching each other and mind you not in a romantic way but rather bored-to-the-hell kind of way. The girl realises that boy was no fun anymore 

and she has nothing much to talk about she just keeps looking around to find something interesting. The same goes with the guy too. And they do find it the girl finds the ducks swimming in the lake more alluring and the boy finds gaming the same or may some other girls.  :P who know's

                In the end these are a few things that shouldn't happen but happen anyways. The above is for all the kids whi have no working backround but still thriving to have a girl with you , I don't know what goes on your mind but there's more life ahead man don't tie yourself to something you can't afford.The same goes to the girl too...

And when it comes to the other grown ups, damn you people are grown ups and you absolutely know what to do .. so my advice to you would be don't base your trust on something that you shouldn't. (I don't know why I said that but seemed like a good line to me. :P )
 Thanks for reading and remember I am always a comment behind you ;) so if you want me to write anything that interests you please do comment... and this is me signing off !!
b bie..